Bros before hoes dude

I Gotta get my drink on

Jager bombs are first

Bro hugs are rad

Blow J’s are too

My collar is popped

My flip-flops are new

A long time bro enters, with this new chick

An hour into the party, she’s already gettin sick

She can’t hold her liquor, hates Dave Matthew’s Band

Her voice is loud and crass, looks like she spray-tans

Spent an hour in our shitroom, powdering her nose

Bang this one tonight bro, after that she goes.

Shit my chick caught me cheatin’

Won’t take me back til at least this weekend.

Practiced apology to make it sound genuine

Friday night, I’ll give it a whirl

Lucky, in the mean time I’ve got this other girl.

Only true bros can juggle more than one

Never said it was easy, only said it was fun.

Arrangements made, invitations sent.

Even made a facebook event

for the twenty-ten bags tournament.

Calm, focus, check for wind.

Easy, straight, toss it in.

With skills like this, not hard to see

How I won second place out of three.

Monday night, alright!

Football with the guys!

Frozen pizza pies!

Plenty of high fives!

Monday night is fly!

In these winning bottles we drink and drown

When biz and income are ever down.

No bro or friend of is ever tardy

As long as PBR is at the party.

So for those who can’t stand aftertaste

and give cheap beer a rippin’

It’s a beer run judged as never a waste

When the result is brew that’s earned the bluest ribbon.

Poems by bros, for bros.